Overcoming a Grief Burst

I have been told by others who have been there before, that grief never really ends, it just changes over time. At the time, I could wrap my mind around that concept, but did not fully appreciate it. I know in time I will come to a greater understanding of it as my heart continues to wrap itself around the journey that I am taking. The acute pain of my loss has dissipated during the past 3 months since Nicholas died. If you had asked me how I was doing 2 days ago, my response would have been something like this: I am doing pretty well. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of Nicholas. My thoughts of him and his death bring me sadness and often I shed a tear. I cherish happy memories of him. I miss him and I am reminded of this every day that I wake. That will probably never change, but I am able to find much joy in my life, and gratitude for all my blessings in spite of...

That was something I would have said to you 2 days ago, in a composed manner befitting of someone who is coping rather well. However, yesterday I was blindsided, if you will, by my grief. I am thus reminded of what others who have experienced the death of a close loved one have said to me during the past 3 months about being ambushed by grief by an insignificant trigger. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I am feeling deep sadness and pain just as intense as it was when Nicholas died and I feel powerless at the moment to stop it. Dr. Alan Wolfelt refers to this as a Grief Burst. At the time, I have to say, I was a bit offended by the well meaning, but nevertheless, unsolicited information that given to me by others who have faced the death of a very close loved one. At the time I remembered thinking that there must be a perfectly good reason why so many seemed to share this information with me and I chose not to dismiss it, and instead tucked it away. I now find myself grateful for the warning as I cope with the emotions before me.

I am now trying to work through these raw and powerful emotions. It took me the better part of 6 weeks to work through them the first time. My father had the misfortune of experiencing a Grief Burst last week and my heart ached for him. Fortunately when I spoke with him a few days later her assured me he was doing much better. I have my trust in God and will seek and attempt to live his will through The Holy Spirit's continued guidance. For now, this is what I must endure with obedience to Him and trust in his will for me. I am still eternally grateful for all of my blessings in life and all that is good in this world. God is so good! This I know.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

~ Christ on the Mount